The Boy Who Wanted to Disappear

(TW- Self-harm)

Haruki Shiga was not living. 

He was existing. 

Breathing. 

Moving. 

But never quite there. 

At home, he was a mistake— 

A burden his parents wished they never had. 

His father's fists were always ready to remind him of that. His mother's silence was even more agonizing. She didn't hit him. 

She didn't touch him. 

She just-- didn't care. 

He was nothing at school. 

A name teachers forgot. 

A body that classmates shoved aside. 

A face nobody could remember. 

When they did see him, 

It was solely to hurt him. 

Whispers in the halls. 

Shoves in the classroom. 

Books knocked from his hands, 

His lunch thrown away in the trash. 

He spent every evening in his room, staring up at the ceiling. Curious what it would be like to simply- stop. 

To fade away. 

To disappear like he was never here.

One evening, the hurt was unbearable. 

The burden of loneliness, the pain in his chest— 

It was unbearable. 

So he took a blade in his shaking hands, 

And pressed it against his skin. 

"Just one cut," he reminded himself. 

"Just one, and maybe the pain inside will hurt a little less." 

But before the knife could strike in— 

A knock. 

Soft. Hesitant. 

He froze. 

"Haruki?" 

A voice. Gentle. Worried. 

Sakura Yamauchi. 

The sole woman who ever gazed at him as though he was human. The only person who ever recorded his silence, 

Whomever looked for him among a throng of individuals. He hid the blade, 

Wiped his tears 

Opened the door. 

She stayed there, 

Eyes that contained something he hadn't seen in a long, long while. 

Not pity. Not fear. 

But understanding.

"I know what you're thinking," she breathed. 

"I've considered it too." 

And then she rolled up her sleeves. 

Haruki's breath hitched. 

Scars. 

Faded. Fresh. Deep. 

Pain was inscribed on her body like a tale only they could share. 

"I thought the world didn't need me," she answered, her voice shaking. 

"I thought nobody would miss me if I vanished. But Haruki…" 

She extended her hand towards his. 

Held it gently 

As if he was something fragile. 

"You are not alone." 

His throat ached. Tears overflowed before he could contain them. Sakura didn’t look away. She didn't laugh. She just held him. For the first time in forever, The walls around his heart cracked. The knife remained forgotten on the ground. And for the first time, Haruki wondered— perhaps he was supposed to remain. Perhaps someone did care. Maybe, maybe only He was more visible than he thought.

-Gaurav singh

I do not exist in this world the way others do. I am not someone who simply lives, laughs, and moves on. I carry ghosts inside me—memories that refuse to fade, love that never found its way back to me, pain that has become a second heartbeat. I write because if I don’t, I will drown.